das schreckliche Komicksprojekt

First part of this story appears here.

Forgot to post on Sunday. It's not my fault, I had pinkeye. Continuing next week...

NEXT ISSUE: gastrolation.

Sunday Comics - How I Became the Spacemummy, part 1 of approximately 5

2006-01-09T01:26:28Z

Continued next week. There are 13 pages of this goopy tale. They're what comes before the Spacemummy mini-strips.

I have another cold. That's like the 6th one in the last 300 days. I must be a deeply degenerate genetic specimen. Hey, maybe that means I'm sterile. (One can but dream the dream, yo.)

NEXT ISSUE: into the bag.

Sunday Comics - KLEMPNER 214 (pages 33 through 40, and the last)

2006-01-02T00:03:33Z

The four previous installments of this story are found here, here, here, and here.



	35. Klebergewehr - I don't think this is exactly the word for "glue gun", but it's in that ballpark.


	38. Leben, es ist zu lieben - To live is to love.
	39. fertig - "ready", or "done".
	40. Essen wir bloß? - So how's about we go eat? Nicht so schlecht - not so bad.

NEXT WEEK: the long-unknown-to-man ORIGIN OF SPACEMUMMY.

Sunday Comics - KLEMPNER 214 (pages 25 through 32)

2005-12-26T22:23:34Z

Urk. I forgot to post my Christmas filth. Sorry about that, chaps.

Continued from last week...

	sie hat ihm unfehlbar wiedergekennt - she has recognized him unfailingly.



	Wasserhahn - What the? Looks like "watercock". Hauling out the German dictionary for the first time in years... and the verdict is "faucet". Klappe - valve Gürtel - well, belt, but in this case, I meant something a bit more like "sphincter". verschiedene Organe - assorted organs

	Mir scheint, das meine Situation nicht gerade wie erstmal geglaubt ist. - It appears to me that my situation is not altogether as I had thought. Nicht dich zu beunruhigen, der Schmerz hat keiner Bedeutung. - Don't worry - the pain has no meaning.

NEXT WEEK: the glue gun, and then our conclusion.

Sunday Comics - KLEMPNER 214 (pages 17 through 24)

2005-12-19T09:11:36Z

So then I was like "LJ server healthy, yet no notification emails?? awwww, nobody commented on my comic this weekend! ka-BURRRRRRN". And then I noticed that I posted it with security level "Private". d'HURRRRRHUURRHURRR* (*Sand People noise from the bit where they haven't whacked Luke with a stick yet, but they're definitely thinking about it.)

I don't think this strip needs much annotation any more, the expositional and/or running-about bits being over. So annotate much I won't. Picking up where we left off, <F> the eponymous plumber has ingeniously but unfathomably trapped a giant hairless rat inside an enclosed bathtub. What'll that zany prole think of next???




	geschafft - done!



	schnitt - cut.

NEXT WEEK: Unspeakable snipping, clicks, nubs, sockets

Sunday Comics - KLEMPNER 214 (pages 9 through 16)

2005-12-12T01:52:13Z

Continued from last week.

	9. <F> presses a button, switching on blindingly bright lights in the tunnel where she has trapped the rats. ken Rat mag das Licht - no rat likes light.
	10. Next, she causes a little door thingy to open in a pipe above their ratty little heads. (The large rat, seeing that dark tunnel open, has a vivid hallucination of some kind of vagina.) SCART - I think that's what type of plug-in dealie they have in some of Europe. Kanalwasser - canal water Probenhaaken - specimen hooks
	11. And lo! They totally fall for it. Stupid rats. The large one helps the others reach the pipe. hier - Here Danke, das ist wirklich nett - Thanks, that's really nice of you.
	12. And then squeezes in himself - whereupon <F> closes the little door, sealing them inside the pipe. es geht? - OK there? Moment bitte - Just a sec. Wahnsinn - craziness!!
	13. They're scurrying above <F>'s head; she can hear their ratty feet. und wo jetzt? - where to now?
	14. The rats have reached the end of the pipe, which dumps them out into the bathtub.
	15. The large one, who has had a bit of a bump on the head, sits up just in time to see the ends of his companions' tails as they vanish down the drain, where he can't follow. Fuckers.
	16. There's a sort of button-up shower curtain thingy on the bathtub, and the large hairless rat cannot get out. He is perplexed by the image of forlorn abandonment that appears in his head. And <F> opens up her toolkit. also - thus.

NEXT WEEK: naked buttocks.

Sunday Comics - KLEMPNER 214

2005-12-04T05:22:52Z

This story comes sometime after "Goodnight to Baby / J vs. rats" in the general Flux-Socialist Family Comics storyline. It's more than a little abstract, and I am going to annotate it.

	1. <F>, also known by her official title of Klempner 214, and whom you may remember from such compromising positions as this one, arrives to work an assigned plumbing job. Klempner - plumber
	2. Here we see a convenient pictographic listing of the contents of F's toolkit, and a transcription of the contents of her letter of instructions. für Knöcheln - for bones ANWEISUNG - in Körperwäschenhaus 19 undichtige Stelle. Vorsicht von der Flußigkeit; es ist schwarz mit Elastizät. Arbeiter davon gebesschädige soll sich verbrennen nähe Luftfilter.<214> Approximately: "WARNING: in bathhouse 19, undesirable situation. Caution regarding the leak. It is black and elastic. Worker who is besmirched with it should immolate her/himself immediately in a well-ventilated area."
	3. An informative panel concerning fluid chemistry. F opens the shutters. Körperseife - body juice Karbolsäure - carbolic soap Blutstück - piece of blood (in this case, apparently a white blood cell) Unbekänntes Molekül - unknown molecule
	4. RATS! And they're stripping the circuitry!!
	5. F is unusually perturbed by the appearance of the 3-foot-tall, hairless rat. A Diagramm describes her thought process. Diagramm - diagram Ratte - rat Spermium - spermatozoan Objekt - object <J> - F's ex-boyfriend, last seen here. vermißt - missing Die Natur gewinnt der Wissenschaft - I totally can't remember. Looks a bit like "Nature prevails over science." Gerade! - eeeexactly.
	6. F makes a leap for the half-stripped control panel in the middle of the room and begins to repair it with lightning speed, while the rats flee into their rather large tunnels. Raus - out einfach - quickly, all at once alle - everyone geht - go reparieren schnell - repair quickly
	7. F pulls a lever on the temporarily repaired control panel, and spiked oak-and-iron whatsits (let's say "bulkheads") seal off the crawlspace, trapping the rats.
	8. Yes, even the big one. ESPECIALLY the big one. Hauskontroll - Do you see? DO YOU??!?!? schlecht - bad jetzt - now

NEXT WEEK: Strategy, counter-strategy. A poignant sense of abandonment.

Sunday Comics - MR. SPACEMUMMY'S WILD RIDE (featuring Cyborg Bill)

2005-05-16T02:34:45Z

So. Where were we.

Note: This plot and character misdirection has in no way been ratified by the SPACEMUMMY, owner of all applicable trademarks, copyrights and patents. It has, however, the full and feeler-wiggling approval of the organism known as "D".

All the Spacemummy strips so far:
all wrapped up...
The Elder Twins
"HOTT MUMMARIES"
dog*
SMIRC
"RORON!"
Construction of the Fun-O-Real Barge
Ad Astra Per Orgone
Neighbour
The Spacemummy/FSFC crossover episode
Mr. Spacemummy's Wild Ride (featuring Cyborg Bill)

Sunday Comics - "Breed Early, Breed Often (Part 2)"

2005-01-31T02:40:12Z

I'VE BEEN POSTING REGULARLY THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME YOU'RE JUST CONFUSED

cont'd from here:

Sorry about my slow server.

EDIT: I'm annoyed with Egypt.

Sunday Comics - "Breed Early, Breed Often"

2004-11-15T02:03:09Z

I have the flu. Also the period. Let us fight each other with slaps and kicks and finger-nails.

sunday sUnDaY SUNDAAAYYYY

2004-11-07T10:28:38Z

Hurrrm. Where have I been, what did I eat, who are all these people and what have I done to them all, dear God, the poor bastards. Lissen folks. Thing is, the other night, I went out to this rock show. At this rock show, well more a sort of painfully sincere keyboard-folk show, I met a lady, a lady with arms, hands, legs and feet. And this lady she gave me... A BOX!!! AN OLD KINDA CRAPPY BOX!!!!! What's great is that the box contained thirty pages of original art that I forgot under her couch or something some two years ago.

I POST SOME STUFF!!!

In this box, we have originals of:

- Grub!
- Grök!
- Das Babytötenmeer!
- J vs. rats!
- Romance has Denture Breath!
- A totally crappy cover illo that I'm never posting!

Also there was a Flux-Socialist three-pager in the box that I've never posted here before. I should 'splain maybe - these "lost" comics, I've posted most of 'em here already, by dint of (give or take) fourth-generation copies. For example, this:

...originally looked more like THIS:

Hmm. It's pretty much like the digitally remastered garbage-masher scene where you can see it's all Styrofoam, huh. Fuck, aren't I silly. Anyway, here's that lost three-pager, which I never scanned (like back in the day) because I decided it was all crappy. La:

PS I've been meeting a lot of socially conscious people lately, what with my job, and it appears some of them have found this blog. So I'd like to quite strongly point out: WHAT I DO HERE IS NOT POLITICAL, LADIES. "Socialist" is preeeeety much just a word to me, which I used in naming this for few other reasons than that I really dig those Iron Curtain red-and-charcoal colour schemes. That being said, enjoy the rats and dongs.

Sunday Flashbacks - "throbbing fun comics"

2004-09-20T05:27:59Z

Another odd one from the vaults. Beware enormous image ...

This strip, definitely drawn (as indicated) while lying in bed and playing hooky from work, would be from around early 2000. I was working at Future Shop Corporate Global Headquarters, hating it, hating them, not trying very hard, and eating a lot of Tums. We at the BBC apologize, as always, for the very poor quality of the film. (I never bothered to ink it, nor, in all likelihood, shall I.)

Flux-Socialist Family Comics - OH YOU FUCKING RABBITS page 11

2004-09-12T21:12:25Z

I meandered off this storyline a few weeks ago (due to it being so horrible in content and such an effort to draw). Going to try to pinch it off soon - it's been nagging at me. For those who came in late, the first ten pages of it are here:

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...

The lady, F (also called Klempner 214), is singing in the last panel. The song is "Mein Hahn ist tot" - apparently some sort of variously European folk tune.

Mein Hahn ist tot
Mein Hahn ist tot
Er singt nicht mehr co-co-di, co-co-da
Er singt nicht mehr co-co-di, co-co-da.

Which translates as "My cock is dead. No more shall he sing cock-a-doodle-doo."

Ha ha, I drew this while babysitting. (The kid was asleep in the other room the whole time and saw nothing, just so you know.)

Sunday Comics - "My First Time"

2004-09-06T02:01:43Z

God, I was a sad kid. NO WONDER NOBODY TOOK ME TO PROM. X'0

Sunday Comics - "My First Time", part 1 of 2

2004-08-29T18:02:33Z

Here we have an autobiographical work-in-progress, "in-progress" because it's time now for me to meet my ride and catch the ferry to Nanaimo and I can't find an eraser anywhere in my apartment.

This story was intended for Robin Fisher's "What's Wrong?" book, which was a censorship-themed comics anthology sold to benefit Little Sister's bookstore on Davie Street in Vancouver. (I finally went in there for the first time on Pride Day. It's very festive.) The store's always in court with Canada Customs, dig, the usual kafuffle over what specific forms of filth can be trucked over the dotted line etc. Which to my mind only proves that we urgently need a DIRTIER INTERNET.

The second page, plus the missing last panel of this page, will follow next week.

Sunday Comics - "Kamikaze Zombie Propaganda Corps"

2004-08-16T02:52:15Z

This is part of a comics-ish art project I'm doing in collaboration with the groovy yet tormented Mr. Ian Christy. It's wicked political. Also, we like zombies.

...Additional... could someone let me know if the above image is visible? Possible problems with the server...

Sunday Comics - "Die Farbe!"

2004-08-09T06:09:38Z

Ich muß pinkeln - "I have to pee"
Ein moment - "one moment please"
Hier - "here"
für dich - "for you"
blütiger Herz - "bloody heart"
toll! - "cool!"
die Farbe - "the colours", or "the colour". Must check, my German's fading and I can't remember if Farbe is the plural, or Farben. Or what.

A horrible sort of Valentine, this, drawn several years ago. I was reminded of it by my recently resumed contact with some old friends. Also by a cruelly fine illo by avphibes, which accompanied a tasty mix CD some of her LJ friends received in February of this year.

The locations above don't quite read - she's supposed to be knocking on a bathroom door in the first frame; he's in there, see, then comes bustin' out in panel four.

Sunday Comics - "Ryan & Cynthia"

2004-08-02T05:07:59Z

This is a comic I drew for my friend Ryan Mitchel-Morrison's 27th birthday present. Posted here with his offhand permission.

These JPGs show the comic booklet about life-size - each page is 1/12th of an 8.5x11 sheet. I stayed up all through the night before Ryan's birthday party to complete it. I tend not to draw quite that feverishly these days. Perhaps being newly unemployed will help. :`[

On the night I conceived and drew this, I hadn't seen Ryan or Cynthia in weeks, barely knew them to begin with, and couldn't remember what either of them looked like. The first drawing of Ryan grinning maniacally and clutching the peacock is a decent likeness, but I failed utterly to recall and portray Cynthia's habitual, very distinctive, Aeon Flux-like hairdo. Actually, I should contact Cynthia and mention I posted this, make sure she doesn't object or anything (seems unlikely, but I never did get to know her well).

Oh - the last panel refers to the other part of the present - I taped two of those expanding-sponge-dinosaur-in-a-pellet-that-you-drop-in-hot-water dealies to the back of the booklet. Dinosaur tea, you see.

EDIT: I'm annoyed with Egypt.

bits of stuff from yon vaults

2004-07-26T10:21:00Z

This here drawing would be an unused illustration for a friend's putative novella.

I only like the sex panel - the parent side is eh. Plus I never got around to giving them (the parents) gum boots (which I meant them to be wearing in bed). Here's a detail of Dod's newspaper.

Also, here's a page my friend Alex wrote, which never got used for anything, because I decided the drawings are retarded. I'm just going to link to it, not embed, because I hates it.

"Good Morning, Mr. Ramsbottom (part 2 of 2)"

2004-07-18T23:19:09Z

Also see part one of thise shtoree.

This one's a few years old. I'm gettin' lazy and postin' things from the vaults. Well, there's some amusing gunk left in there.

I've come to think that the addition of the pointy device Ramsbottom puts on his shoe detracts from the pith of Mr. Matthews' most witty original text. Eh, whatchagonnado?

Intermission - "Good Morning, Mr. Ramsbottom (part 1 of 2)"

2004-07-12T07:57:04Z

This be an ancient one (speaking of which, my sad ol' floppy arse turned 26 on Saturday). Posted with, so far, no permission from my very dear friend Mr. Matthews, but if he signs into Messenger again tonight I'll ask him.

NEXT WEEK: the conclusion of this most distasteful tale.

Flux-Socialist Family Comics - OH YOU FUCKING RABBITS page 10

2004-07-04T10:29:47Z

page 10 of the continuing stoooooory.

I think there are only two more pages in this story. Maybe two and a half.

So I was thinking... does anyone want to try colourizing this page for me? I do not do the colour thing, you see, and this page of pages seems to kinda call for it.

PREVIOUS: pages one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine.

NEXT:
page eleven.

Flux-Socialist Family Comics - OH YOU FUCKING RABBITS page 9 (of about 12)

2004-06-27T20:31:16Z

what the? new page!

PREVIOUS: pages one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight.
NEXT: page ten.

Sorry for going on hiatus so long, folks. I been comfused. (I think I'm switching to Sundays now, too.)